Block #26

Creator

Zoe

Location

Oregon, USA

Creator demographics

48; Cisgender woman; White; Queer

Materials and construction

yellow cotton quilting fabric, red orange perle cotton 08; hand embroidered

Description from maker

waking up (self-given title).

I chose the smaller sized block because I'm not ready to take up that much space in my queer identity right now. I want to claim space and be part of this community and this project, but I'm hesitant. And that's okay. If someone else came out to me and they weren't ready to be fully know, I would still love and accept them. So I tried to do that for myself by letting myself work small. I spent 47 years being what I thought of as 'queer-adjacent'. The majority of my friends are queer/trans and I've always gravitated to queer spaces, groups, and movements. That's where I've felt most at home and most myself. I've been attracted to male, female and GNC people for my whole life, but I did a lot of mental gymnastics to stay in the 'straight' category in my mind for decades.

I'm very happy in my straight-passing marriage, and my husband has always lovingly acknowledged my queerness. When I think about gender euphoria, I think about the times I've worn clothes that feel 'queer'. That feeling of rightness and joy and how it signals something true about myself to other queer people. This spring I bought my queer teenager a shirt from Wildfang that they were drawn to and that I have always wanted. A button-down with a pattern of open and closed eyes, similar to the design I embroidered. And there it was. I was happy to make this special purchase for my beloved kid, but I denied it for myself. Why? I love so many queer people! Why can't one of them be me? One of them is me! Things fell into place in my heart and then my whole life made so much more sense. I feel home in queer communities because I *am* queer. I bought the shirt in my size. I told a handful of people my truth. They were not surprised. I was received with love. I felt a quiet but expansive joy.

Visual description

Mustard-yellow fabric with eleven eyes embroidered in red thread. The eyes are in various styles, with six open and five closed. Each eye has a distinct design, featuring different eyelash shapes and pupils. The embroidery is evenly spaced across the fabric.

Date

2023

Dimensions

6.5x6.5

Rights

The Euphoria Quilt

Identifier

TEQ-2024-01-26